Why Do Narcissistic People Struggle to Form Relationships? (It's Not What You Think)
Could they change it if they wanted to?
Narcissists are rarely content in their relationships. Ask them why and they will point their finger at the other person. They don’t do enough. They aren’t good enough. A narcissistic person will always blame their partners for the lack of fulfillment they feel, but the truth is that their bad relationship problems are rooted entirely in their own shortcomings.
A narcissistic person struggles to form stable connections with others. When you see why, it’s easy to understand.
Rooted in their own egos, content with blaming the world for the problem they create, they aren’t able to fully dive deep and be emotionally honest with themselves. This translates into cruelty that makes romantic relationships hard and lacking in critical empathy and trust.
The narcissist isn’t a creature of grandiosity.
Online culture has painted the narcissistic person as a one-dimensional animal. Creatures of arrogance, we are expected to believe they are easily spotted as people who suck all the air out of a room — but that’s not the reality. Real narcissists are charming and can present a depth that makes them tempting romantic partners.
The narcissist has a grandiose view of self, but that doesn’t always translate into grandiose behavior. Being the best in the room, and being in control, looks different to every narcissistic person and they flex those behaviors in different ways.
Some will put themselves in positions of traditional power. They get partners they terrorize and create families (or positions at work) in which they can lord themselves over others. Others, though, decide to play the victim. They consciously and subconsciously keep themselves weak and in crisis so other people will rescue them and do the hardest work of life.