What Would My Mother Think of My Painting?

The answer isn't as simple as you may expect.

When I started oil painting a few months ago, it was the lid coming off decades of suppressed creativity. I suddenly had a flow of ideas again, a drive to get up and create. It felt like 2019 again, except more exhilarating, more inspired. I couldn’t believe how quickly things came along, how quickly they are coming along. But one thought still plagued me…what would my mother think of my painting?

A complicated relationship

As anyone who has followed me for a while will know, my mother and I had more than a complicated relationship. She was a broken and narcissistic person, as much as I hate admitting that - even now. When it comes to the worst and most traumatizing moments in my life, she figures greatly. I don’t remember most of my senior of high school. Not because I was having a good time, or experimenting with my friends, or any of that. No. Because my mother went into a manic, narcissism-fueled spiral and decided to make my life a living hell.