It never surprises me when one of my clients reveals they have a narcissistic partner. The pattern sticks. A lot of them come from narcissistic parents. That’s what I do after all. I help people break the cycle with the narcissists in their lives.
But it does beg the question…why do so many of these good-hearted people fall for these narcissists in the first place? They leave chaotic homes and step out into the world only to fall prey to the same chaos again (in a different body). Why? Surely they would avoid narcissism at all costs after being roundly abused by narcissists in childhood?
It’s not that easy. Especially when one of these well-meaning people becomes the focus of narcissistic obsession.
This intense pursuit can contain a mix of both charm and grandiosity, sweeping innocent people off their feet and into a whirlwind they don’t understand. When the narcissist is obsessed with something, they will go to almost no ends to secure it. Honest people fall prey to that out of hope of connection, love, and a host of other reasons.
Is it love for the narcissist, though? When they turn on that laser of obsession, does it have anything to do with their desire for a deeper connection? Deeper meaning. Not exactly. Certainly not in the way their victims understand it.
How does narcissistic obsession take shape?
Obsession is a pattern with the narcissist. They can display these behaviors over anything, their career, their image, but especially their intimate relationships. The narcissist centers these relationships in an intense way that can leave their victims both confused and pressured. These obsessions grow over time, thanks in part to the narcissist’s twisted self-image and the willingness of those around them to build the delusion.