The Meditating Monster: Spiritual Narcissism, Narcissistic Abuse, and Recovery

When the narcissist hides in plain sight.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

My mother loved telling people she was a healer. She would sit on the phone for hours at a time, talking to her clients as she “shifted energies” around their bodies and helped them “open up their chakras” and their connection to their “spirit guides”. She was making them better, she claimed. Giving them the health and spiritual wellness that they needed to finally make all of their dreams come true. It was ironic to me, even then as a child. If this woman was supposed to be a healer, why did she harm so many of the people around her?

Spiritual narcissism is a class of narcissism - a niche, if you will. People with these manipulative personalities band themselves beneath the guise of spirituality and use spiritual language, practices, and the authority from those things to lift themselves up, manipulate others, and avoid accountability.

We like to think that something as grand as spiritual narcissism would be relegated to the likes of cult leaders and gurus, but it’s not. The spiritual narcissist in your life can be a yoga teacher, your best friend, a partner who quotes Rumi while they tell you that you’re crazy, or a parent who quotes scripture while they shame you or demand your forgiveness.

As we move further and further into uncertainty, a constant keeps repeating. Spiritual narcissists are everywhere, and they will weaponize your enlightenment (and theirs) to cause harm, consolidate control, and derail your true sense of purpose and happiness.

What is spiritual narcissism, really?