Set Yourself Up for Success and Avoid the Meltdowns this Holiday Season

Don't let the trauma get you down.

Photo by Jeswin Thomas on Unsplash

A few days ago, while leaving a shop, a woman cut in front of me in line. Her pale skin was burning red, there was sweat on her brow. A mop of blonde hair swirled about her in a picture of madness, with a few long locks clumping sweatily to the sides of her neck. In her arms was a jumble of gifts — toys, perfume sets, candles, and a pair of holiday slippers.

“Sorry!” Her voice was breathless, exhausted, but frantic all the same. “I’ve just got to get these into the car. Do you mind? My son is waiting, and I promised him I would grab these for Christmas. He’s only 7. You know how little boys are…”

At first, I wanted to get angry. I wanted to cut her off and chuck her out of line where she belonged. Before I could do any of that, however, I was overwhelmed by a wave of pity for the woman.

It was November 18th…days before any Black Friday Sale began in the story. Hardly a Christmas decoration even hung around the register or down the aisles. Yet here was this woman, an accomplished and self-possessed woman, already wildly possessed by the Christmas Devil.

All that mattered to her were those presents and the reaction of her little boy. That was it. I didn’t even exist in her story. I was merely an obstacle to be overcome on her way to the perfect holiday pictures that she would share all over Facebook with her high school friends in Thailand.

I said nothing. I let her go ahead of me and waiting in silence the extra 20 minutes it took to ring her up. By the time I had the last of my items slung up beside the register, the woman was long gone, rushing down an escalator in a mad dash to reassure her son that their perfect Christmas was indeed on.

We’ve created some absurd expectations.

Scenes like this are so common. People have become more obsessed with the image of the holidays season they don’t even make space for their own spirit anymore.

The holidays have become a real bummer in so many ways. What was once a simple 2 weeks of intensive family time has now become a commercialized hellscape of dinner parties, gift giving, mad-rush shopping escapades, and social-media packed virtue signaling.

There is so much more expected of us now during this time of year, both at home and outside of it. We have to meet the increasing obligations of our families (who want bigger and better gifts, more and more of our time, and their own picturesque expectations met). Then we have to make similar investments at work and with those friends who expect us, too.

Trying to do it all — the shopping, the parties, the work, the dinners — it takes a toll. Your battery doesn’t get bigger at Christmas. You don’t magically have more energy, more focus, more hours in the day.

That’s why the big expectations, the grandiose demands, it’s too much. It burns us out and melts us down. Many of us don’t even end up enjoying the time that we have during the holidays because we spend all of it whittling ourselves away for other people and superficial things that don’t even really matter.