Is the Most Toxic Relationship the One You're Trying to Shape?

A few thoughts on trying to force a good thing.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

People often assume that the most toxic relationships are the ones filled with abuse or betrayal. Those relationships are undeniably destructive. Yet there is another kind of toxicity that is far more common, harder to recognize, and just as damaging. It is the relationship built on control, the kind where one or both partners are constantly trying to reshape the other into something more acceptable.

These relationships can look functional on the surface. They may even appear “healthy” to outsiders. But inside, there is a constant pressure to perform, conform, and transform. One person demands change. The other loses themselves trying to meet those demands. Both eventually end up drained, resentful, and broken.

This is not love. It is control dressed up as care.