If They Wanted to Apologize, They Would
Stop looking for something they choose not to give you.
In terms of closure, there are few things more powerful than an apology. Giving an apology after making the wrong choice is a healing balm. It lets the other person know that you feel remorse, but more than that it’s a promise. A promise to change behavior. A promise to be better, kinder, more compassionate or understanding the next time.
Apologies represent all of those things.
To give and receive apologies is an important piece of the relationship puzzle. We must be able to apologize for the mistakes that we make. In the same vein, our partners must be willing to give those same apologies when they get it wrong.
What happens when we don’t get apologies in moments of wrongdoing?
Cracks form. Trust disintegrates. Resentments build.
It’s hard to keep your relationship in a state of forward momentum when you have those kinds of divides; when someone isn’t willing to be remorseful, human.
Here’s the real killer, though: you can’t make your partner apologize. You can’t make them right the wrongs or feel remorse for the behaviors that have hurt you. This is where so many people run into a wall. When their partner or spouse harms them, they push to get resolution. But some people don’t want to give that resolution. Sound familiar? Then read on.
Some people don’t like to apologize.
Let’s face it, some people aren’t apologizers. It doesn’t matter what kind of apology. Saying “sorry” isn’t always a matter of verbal remorse. More than anything, it’s changed behavior. Unfortunately, change is something many people resist. Some partners don’t like to change and certain personalities like the idea of apologizing to someone they’ve wronged even less…