I Was My Mother's Most Expensive Rescue Dog
Having the humility to see the pattern has made all the difference in healing for me.
I’ve spent years talking about my mother on the internet. It’s clear that she was a malignant narcissist, covert in nature, and seething with envy and irritation at her only daughter (me). When I tell my stories, I lay the bones of the patterns bare. Who couldn’t see it?
The truth is…everyone. To this day, there are people in this world who deny what my mother was.
They think that my stories are lies or, at the very least, misunderstandings. People who knew my mother and people who didn’t give her titanic sized free passes and refuse to acknowledge the reality behind who my mother was and how she affected others.
It’s understandable. My mother was an incredibly complex creature and even for those closest to her (myself included) it could be hard to see the toxicity in the tangle of chaos around her.
A big reason for that was, and still is, the way my mother performed. She was a woman of many masks, and none of them were more confusing than the compassionate one she slid on most often. This was best displayed in her “work” with animals and the way she included them in her life. My mother was a “rescuer” you see and that’s where her most insidious narcissism came out clear…especially as it related to her only daughter.