How Do You Fix a Relationship That Feels Like a Friendship?

What to do when you get stuck in a rut with your best friend.

Photo by Ryan Jacobson on Unsplash

My first serious relationship collapsed about a year after we fell into the friendzone. Things had grown stagnant, and we were in a truly boring rinse-and-repeat cycle that would have bored the teeth out of Ben Stein. Eventually, he wandered off and cheated and I, devastated, nuked the relationship in a spectacularly toxic way.

Looking back now with older, more educated eyes, I can see all the signs staring me right in the face. We were in the friendzone, for more than one reason, and neither one of us knew how to get out.

This might sound like you and your partner. If you’re coming home every day, passing one another distantly, like ships in the night, then it may be time to take a second look. Are you and your partner or spouse becoming better friends than you are bedfellows? Don’t let yourself get too comfortable. You need to bring that passion back and get out of the friendship rut if you want to save your forever-after.

Does your relationship feel like a friendship?

My ex and I were just one more couple (out of millions) who fell into the friendzone trap. Looking back, we could have done more to save things if we had been more aware of the signs. The symptoms of a stagnating relationship are always out in the open and they’re always clear. It’s just a matter of who has the courage to face them honestly.